A Match Report...

Every man born with that innate comprehension that a ball should be round....not oval and that it should be about the size of a mans head and possible to kick without breaking a bone...not the size of a fist and likely to be smashed at your head with a linseed oil soaked plank of wood....

Every one of these men, lives every day of his life filled with terror that the summer lull in football broadcasting or the break from activity of his beloved 5 aside team may, just may, never end. That he might wake up one morning bereft of football shakes him to the core and results in wild behaviour; Wild erratic behaviour that renders the female gender proclaiming confusion even bafflement (not a word until now) at how their bearded, beer bellied opposite numbers behave.

This is the little known secret of behavioural nuances such as men huddled round warm flat pints of lager in dingy, damp stinking public houses, muttering about and cackling at absurd idiosyncrasies rather than returning home to their loved ones lucid and awake at the pre-agreed time.....

This, this and of course that fact that we just spent 8 hours at work aware that our partners have spent the whole day updating their profiles to read:

'SATC2 tonight Sooo excited'
comment:
'Oh wow we're seeing it tonight too, where you goin'?'

'Let's all dress up like the SJP and go for cocktails first woooooo'.


It takes 9 pints and 3 hours of reminding yourself that it doesn't have to be that way to wipe out the realisation that your beautiful intelligent partner is in fact a mentally ill 6 year old with a Barbie house instead of a brain....that or 9 pints and 3 hours to build up the momentum to go home and exact horrific domestic abuse, but that is a personal thing and you go the way that you feel is right.

So then........it is with fervour & perpetuity that the re-start of the Corinthians 5 aside season is awaited.....

Towning
Lewis
Finnegan
Nevill
Murray
Cenamor

Lined up to face the un-to-now force unknown of CITI bank.

Initial observations did not strike fear into the Corinthian Lion Hearts as the opposition took to the field adorned in a variety of cheap beach wear. The outfield players looked more like a lost group of British tourists in 80's Tenerife, looking for the beach but somehow ensnared in a game of 5 aside football, a game that they had previously never heard of.

It became clear that the CITI outfit really meant business though, when the goal keeper adorned a pair of Gardening Gloves, an audacious break from goal keeping tradition.

Recent times have seen defeats and static play from the Corinthians, but possibly inspired by the return of club all time top scorer Andrew Towning the play was fluid and the movement inspired.

It was at least 2-0 to the blues before CITI had chance to settle and to so much as touch the ball.

Move of the game began with Jim Murray, spying an opening down the middle of the pitch he launched a through ball to Towning, but the ball was at about stomach height. Towning launched himself into the air, recalling the skills he had developed at county level hurdles and turning 180 degrees scissor kicked the ball against the cross bar. There was almost applause.....despite the fact that there was no crowd....

The goals included

A hatrick for Murray, capped off with a 10 yard shin strike, the ball foxing the gardening glove clad keeper, by slowly bouncing directly past his leg...

2 for Finnegan including a rocket strike of a penalty and just barely muted Stuart Pearce vs Spain celebration...

An unending flow of succinct strikes from the men charged with the goal tally, Towning and Cenamor.

None for Lewis. More concerned with peppering the goal mouth with long range wonder strikes, Lewis once again proved that his Lampard thunderbolt needs considerable training ground work.

Nevill in goal, charged up by the terrifying potential of the game finishing late and his better half illustrating vocal disgruntlement, adorned in professional looking goal keeping strip, he gave Gomez a real challenge between the sticks.

It was a Rob Green vs Mexico esque performance and many fans are excited by the prospect of a competent number 2. Gomez though has been rumoured to have undermined the challenge by sending Italian Mafia clad 'kiss o grams' to the Nevill abode...a lightly shrouded death threat if ever there was one.

All in all a triumph and exactly the start that the season needed....Now on to the tough games.